Dear College of Education Community,
One of the challenging acts of self-care is finding the courage for letting go-letting go of anger at others who have treated us badly, letting go of unhealthy situations, letting go of traumatic memories. According to a Mental Health Center online article, “it’s crucial to differentiate letting go from avoidance or suppression. Avoidance refers to steering clear from facing unpleasant emotions or experiences, while suppression involves consciously forcing unwanted thoughts and feelings out of our conscious awareness. Letting go, on the other hand, is about bravely confronting these challenging emotions and experiences, understanding them, and then releasing them with full consciousness. It’s a journey of self-discovery, acceptance, healing, and transformation that ultimately leads to peace and personal growth… One of the primary psychological benefits of setting free is the reduction of stress and anxiety. When we dwell on past situations or worry about future events, our mind gets caught in a loop of continual rumination.” So what are some ways we can move forward in letting go as an act of self-care? Here are some suggestions from this article:
Acceptance and Mindfulness-These serve as potent strategies for letting go. Acceptance involves acknowledging and embracing reality without trying to change or deny it. Mindfulness involves staying grounded in the present moment and observing our feelings and thoughts without judgment.
Emotional Processing and Release-This approach requires us to confront our emotions directly, understand them, and gradually work through them. This process can be facilitated through various means such as journaling, therapy, mindfulness practices, or even creative outlets like art and music.
Setting Boundaries and Practicing Self-Care-These are also crucial in the whole process. Establishing boundaries involves recognizing and advocating for our personal limits, thus protecting our emotional space.
Practicing self-care means engaging in activities that nurture our mental, physical, and emotional well-being, thereby providing us with the strength and resilience to let go.
The role of forgiveness-Forgiveness plays a pivotal role. However, it’s crucial to understand that forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or justifying the wrong that has been done. Instead, it’s about deciding not to let past hurts control our present and future emotional state.
Embracing Change and Adaptation-Letting go becomes easier when we cultivate a growth mindset that embraces change and adaptation. Holding onto past experiences or fears often stems from a fixed mindset that resists change.
Conversely, a growth mindset views change not as a threat but as an opportunity for learning and growth. By fostering such a mindset, we enhance our adaptability, making it easier to let go and move forward.
Learning From Past Experiences-Adopting a growth mindset also involves viewing past experiences as valuable lessons rather than regrets. Instead of ruminating over past events, we can choose to learn from them, using these lessons to cultivate wisdom and resilience. This shift in perspective transforms our relationship with the past, facilitating the whole process. In summary, a growth mindset empowers us to let go of what no longer serves us and embrace new possibilities.
Stop control-Letting go often requires us to relinquish our desire for control. We must recognize that it’s impossible—and mentally exhausting—to control everything in our lives. By acknowledging the limitations of control, we can start to release our grip on things beyond our reach, which is an essential step in the process of letting go.
The healing power of self-compassion-Self-compassion involves being kind to oneself, treating oneself with the same understanding and kindness that we would extend to a good friend. This gentle, compassionate approach eases the process of letting go, making it less daunting and more nurturing. Self-compassion also means stopping self-judgment and criticism. We often judge and criticize ourselves harshly for our past mistakes and shortcomings.
Navigating the stages of grief-Grief is a complex process that often involves letting go. As we navigate the stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – we gradually learn to set free what we have lost and adapt to our new reality. This journey through grief is an emotional roller coaster. It does not imply forgetting or minimizing the significance of our loss. Instead, it means allowing ourselves to heal, to remember with love rather than pain, and ultimately, to move forward. This process can be incredibly challenging, but it’s also a testament to our resilience and capacity for love, growth, and recovery.
Letting go of past relationships-One of the most challenging aspects of letting go often involves detaching from toxic or unhealthy relationships. This process can be painful and complex, but it is often crucial for our mental and emotional health. It means recognizing the toxicity or unhealthiness of a relationship, understanding its negative impact on our well-being, and choosing to disentangle ourselves from its grip. It also involves finding closure, which can come in various forms. It might include an honest conversation, personal reflection, or simply the passage of time. By finding closure, we create space for new, healthier connections. It’s about closing one chapter of our life story so that we can start penning a new one.
To read more go to:
https://www.mentalhealthcenter.org/psychology-of-letting-go/
For a list of other self-care options, please go to our COE self-care website for resources for faculty, staff, students, and the community at
https://www.csun.edu/eisner-education/self-care/articles-information-self-care
May we all find ways of letting go as an act of self-care.
Warmly,
Shari