Three Steps to Better
Writing
(along with some
common errors…)
I.
Paragraphing
-- ONE idea per paragraph
-- Idea must be one you can develop
-- Idea must be expressed in the topic
sentence
Once you’ve written a paragraph, go
back over it and make sure every sentence is related to or develops the topic
introduced in the topic sentence.
-- Any sentence that
does not support or clarify the idea expressed in the topic sentence should be:
1.
deleted
2.
considered
as the topic of another paragraph
3.
incorporated
into the existing topic sentence
-- paragraph’s last sentence does not need to sum up the paragraph
-- paragraph’s last
sentence should not introduce
the topic of the next paragraph
-- develop your topic
sentences by brainstorming on scratch paper the ideas you want to cover in your
essay
-- draw arrows
between the ideas that seem to relate well; this helps you organize your essay
before you even begin to write
-- transitions: topic sentences are generally
better for transitions than the final sentence of the previous paragraph.
Some words are good “transition” words
and phrases: “Not only…but also”; “Consequently…”; “On the other hand,”; “In
addition to...”; Nonetheless…”
II.
Active,
vivid, and precise verbs
-- Active voice is
nearly always better because it gives your writing punch and precision
“Who did
what to whom” should be the basic structure of your sentence.
Subject of the sentence
does the action:
“Drought brought famine.” NOT
“Famine was caused by the drought.”
How to spot passive voice?
Be on the lookout for the
verb “to be” + “by”
By the verb “to be” we mean à is/are
was/were
“The finicky Professor is annoyed by students who write in the
passive voice.”
Instead:
“Students who write in the passive voice annoy the finicky professor.”
Notice the “Who did what to whom”
structure:
Who (students) did what (annoy) to whom
(the professor)
-- Avoid using the
weak verb “to be” whenever you can – circle it every time you see it and try to
replace it with some other verb.
Don’t say, “She was
successful.” Say, “She succeeded.”
Lead with your point,
don’t bury it at the end of the sentence.
For example,
Don’t say, “Another example of Wilson’s
idealism was his determination to create a League of Nations.”
Instead, say, “Wilson’s determination to create a League of Nations
also demonstrated his idealism.”
-- Don’t “waste” your
main verb.
“Hitler was a man who ruled Germany from 1933 until his death in 1945.”
In this case “Hitler was a man” is the
“guts” of your sentence – not an especially good use of your main verb. (Most
readers already know that Hitler was a man.) Instead, say:
“Hitler ruled Germany
from 1933 until his death in 1945.”
-- Give your writing precision by choosing just the right
verb
“conceded”
vs “acknowledged” vs “admitted”
“said”
vs “explained” vs “mumbled” vs “thundered”
Ask yourself: “What exactly is my subject doing?”
Picture
the scene in your head, then use verbs to create a mental picture in your
reader’s mind.
Don’t dress up a weak verb with an adverb – find a better verb. Don’t
say, “said quietly;” say “whispered.”
Words
to avoid:
strong, big, large, interesting (none are precise)
III.
“No
Repeats”
-- Vary your word
choice. Don’t use the same words over and over.
Check
on the printed page to make sure you’re not repeating the same words too
often.
-- When referring to
historical actors, use their full name the first time you mention them: “John
F. Kennedy”; thereafter refer to them by their last name: “Kennedy.” If you are repeating their name several times
in a paragraph, use other identifiers: “the president”; “the administration”;
“Washington”; “the White House.”
-- Eliminating
“repeats” of verbs will also enhance precision by forcing you to choose words
that say exactly you mean.
BONUS RULE: “K. I. S. S.” à Keep it simple,
stupid.
-- No
“inter-office memos.” Never
say, “In this paper I will…” or “As I said previously…”
-- Don’t annoy or distract the reader by
intruding your own voice into the story. This means not using the first person
“I.”
-- Don’t tell the reader what you’re going to
do, just get to it.
-- Prune excess or flowery words and
imprecise, confusing phrases
For example...
Don’t say, “utilize,”
say “use” [verbs ending in –ize are almost always bad]
Don’t say, “Because
of the fact that,” say “Since”
Don’t say, “The mistrust
that Stalin held…” say “Stalin’s mistrust”
“in terms of” à ???? (avoid this
phrase, it confuses more than it clarifies)
COMMON ERRORS
1-- Make sure your nouns and pronouns
agree in number
“party,”
“government,” “United States,” “Kennedy administration” all take the singular
“it.”
“The Communist party
had always valued abject loyalty. In fact, they insisted that
everyone wear red underwear.”
For the noun and the pronoun to agree, “they” should be changed to
“it.”
“The Kennedy administration had little interest in the Cuban
government’s perspective since they assumed Castro had no legitimacy.” “they” should be changed to
“it.”
2-- Do not use contractions in formal
writing.
-- It’s vs its
RULE OF THUMB:
since you will never use contractions, you will never use “it’s” (which means
“it is”) So, “its” is always right. If you find an “it’s” in your paper, change
it to “it is.” If it sounds weird, you’ve made an error – the correct
form should be “its.”
3-- For smoother
prose, avoid sentences that don’t reveal important information and keep your
use of prepositional phrases to a minimum.
AWKWARD:
Mark J. White is the author of a book
called Missiles in Cuba. In his book he argues that a crisis in which
the world was in danger was the result of the reckless diplomacy of both
superpowers.
BETTER:
Mark J. White’s Missiles in Cuba argues that both superpowers’ reckless pre-crisis
diplomacy precipitated a dangerous international situation.
Check your prose to be sure you’ve used
the fewest sentences and fewest words to convey the greatest amount of
information. For example, there is no need to spend a sentence telling your
reader that Mark White is the author of a book when you really want to tell the
reader what the book argues.
4-- Failure to
attribute quotes. When the voice of the paper changes from your voice to
someone else’s, the new speaker must be introduced. This is different than citing the quote.
WRONG:
Kennedy modeled his Alliance for Progress
on Franklin Roosevelt’s Good Neighbor Policy. In fact, “he instructed his
advisers to look for a catch phrase like ‘Good Neighbor’ that he could call his
own.” (Leuchtenburg, 106)
RIGHT:
Kennedy modeled his Alliance for
Progress on Franklin Roosevelt’s Good Neighbor Policy. In fact, one historian
has noted, “he instructed his advisers to look for a catch phrase like ‘Good
Neighbor’ that he could call his own.” (Leuchtenburg, 106)
NOTE that both quotes
are cited, but only one is attributed.
Usually you don’t have to identify a historian by name, after all if
your readers want to know which historian, they can always look at the
footnotes.
Sometimes the attribution sounds
smoother when you put it in the middle of a quote, particularly if the quote
has a natural pause:
“Throughout his years in the White
House,” one historian has observed, “Robert Kennedy remained intensely loyal to
his brother.”
5-- Overuse of quotes.
Your paragraphs should not simply be strings of quotes. Only quote directly if
the quote is vivid, cleverly phrased, or effectively illustrates the point you
are trying to make. Otherwise, use your own words. You will be less likely to overquote if you
attribute all your quotes. After a while, it just gets awkward to have to say
repeatedly, “As one historian has noted,” or “According to one scholar…”
-- It is better to
quote historical actors than historians. Quotes from historical actors
reinforce the immediacy of the moment; quotes from historians interrupt that
moment.
6-- Incorrect
sentence structure
WRONG:
“Looking for every source of revenue it could
find, tax increases seemed the only option for the administration.”
RIGHT:
“Looking for every source of revenue it could
find, the administration concluded that tax increases were its only option.”
NOTE that the phrase before the comma
should modify the word immediately after the comma. In this case, the phrase modifies “the
administration” not “tax increases,” so “the administration” must follow the
comma.
[In short, the administration is doing the “looking”; the tax increases aren’t.]
7 – Miscellaneous
-- Spell out numbers
up to 100 and round numbers thereafter
Exception:
percents: 93 percent.
-- Spell out numbers
over 100 (and percents) when they begin a sentence. Never begin a sentence with
a numeral.
-- Spell out
centuries: 19th century (wrong); nineteenth century (right)
-- Don’t use “WWI” or
“WWII.” Spell them out.
-- “while” vs “though”
While means “at the same time as” not
“although”
WRONG:
“While Kennedy never trusted
Khrushchev, he knew he had to work with him.”
RIGHT:
“Though Kennedy never trusted
Khrushchev, he knew he had to work with him.”
“While Kennedy negotiated with
Khrushchev, Castro fumed in Havana.”
-- “affect” vs “effect”
“affect” is a verb; “effect” is usually a noun.
WRONG:
“The conflict effected the exchange of goods
in the region.”
“The new drug had many side affects.”
RIGHT:
“The conflict affected the exchange of
goods in the region.”
“The
new drug had many side effects.
-- “loose” (adjective) vs “lose”
(verb)
The
screw was loose.
Don’t
lose your mind.