Divorce has become extremely acceptable and popular in our society; and for this reason, Whitehead believes that many parents are focusing more on their individual needs, instead of the needs of all family members. Because divorce is no longer rare in the American culture, more families are taking advantage of this possibility. However, Whitehead argues that not enough is being done for the children of divorce parents.

Whitehead believes that children get hurt when their parents separate. She explains that many divorced parents lack parental commitment when it comes to the well being of their children. She states that many Americans have changed their beliefs about their obligations, both to society and family. Whitehead indicates that, in today's society, many individuals seek their own pleasures and satisfactions, rather than, continuing with the duty and sacrifice that creates a functional family.

Barbara Dafoe Whitehead is not against divorce; instead, she highlights many benefits that divorce can provide to all family members. However, she defends her belief that children have to be a parent's focus when separating. She does not want divorce to be a "self satisfaction" act but an act of better outcomes for all family members, including children. It is for this reason that she proposes to ask: "What are individual parents obliged to do 'for the sake of their own children'?" (Whitehead 673)

It is with no doubt, that divorce rate has increased dramatically in the American culture. It is no longer a cause for gossip and it is as normal as eating an every day meal. Because divorce has become so ordinary, many families are taking advantage of this possibility without considering the effects that it will have on their children. However, it is understandable that it is better to break up a family where physical, verbal, and sexual abuse exists. On the other hand, parents have the obligation to look after their children whether or not they are together.

I imagine that divorce causes numerous effects on children. But, what effects might these be? Can they be positive effects? Or are they always negative? I feel that children of divorced parents will most likely face negative effects. One negative effect might be socially. I understand that many children whose parents separate have a difficult time making new friends. They alienate themselves from people and find comfort in their own loneliness. I believe that children would rather be alone because they think that no one understands the painful experience they are facing. Children might also diminish their social skills at school. They probably will not interact with classmates and teachers. This problem can lead them to fail academically because they do not ask the necessary questions to material they don't understand and in turn, end up hating school and become unsuccessful students.

Along with social traumas, children might face problems emotionally. Many children blame themselves for their parents' divorce. Because of this, I think that these children begin to hate themselves and everything that surrounds them. Many of them might not share their feelings with anyone, causing even greater pain and driving them to commit actions that will only get them into trouble.

Children's emotions get hurt when they realize that their family is no longer united and in many occasions, causes them to become depressed. This depression plays and important role, not only emotionally, but physically. If a child is depressed, then he/she is most likely to reject a healthy eating habit. Children will either loose their appetite and cause a tremendous weight loss, or over eat leading them to gain weight and become unhealthy. With emotional effects, come psychological disturbances in children of divorced parents. I believe that children who experience divorce can become unhappy beings. They tend to be angry all the time, feel extremely lonely and, in many cases, reject their sense of being. It seems to me that children feel incarcerated by an experience they have no control over. Because they cannot find a solution to their unexplainable feelings, numerous children become extremely aggressive, leading them to unacceptable behavior.

Divorce causes children great grief and desperation. Several children do not understand their parents' situation and their reasons for divorce. Not being able to understand why many parents divorce is difficult to children. The effects divorce has on children are numerous. I only mentioned those that I feel strongly about. However, as I researched the Internet, I found countless effects and the following pages will depict what I learned about children and the effects divorce has on many of them.

In his article, "The Effects of Divorce on Children" Jeff Wood explains that children of divorced parents face many adjustment problems. According to Wood, an investigator for the UCLA Psychology Department, studies have found that children whose parents divorce have more difficulty adjusting than children who live in two-parent families. One difficult adjustment for many children is the loss of income. After a divorce, many parents have to move to poor neighborhoods and can no longer provide their children with the standard of living prior to the divorce. Adjusting to a new way of living can be challenging for many children; however, it is one of the several adjustment problems that kids face after a family separation.

In 2004, the Psychology Department at UCLA, conducted an investigation on the adjustment problems for children of divorce. Their results concluded that children of divorce were at higher risk of behavior problems including anxiety, aggression, depression and low self-esteem. In addition, the study revealed that along with income loss, children faced adjustment problems because they had little or no positive contact with the non-custodial parent. Also, another reason for adjustment problems was that children's relationships with the custodial parent were not as positive as they should be.

During my investigation, I came across with another interesting finding, which mentioned that a child of divorce is at risk of becoming divorced when he/she marries. Wood bases this section of his article with evidence that P.R. Amato & Booth acquired during a study for the Journal of Marriage and the Family in UCLA in 1997. Wood explains that Amato & Booth's findings "...[suggest] that there is heightened risk of divorce in children of divorce". This could be true for many children if divorce was the only way they learned to solve marital problems. Then it could be possible that they use this same solution when they marry.

On the other hand, Jeff Wood also argues that there was an additional study performed by N.H. Wolfinger for UCLA in 1997, which showed little evidence that children might in fact follow their parent's footstep when it comes to divorce. Actually, Wolfinger discovered that over the past 20 years, the chances of this to happen have decreased by 50%. However, their chances do increase if they marry someone that comes from a divorced family. My investigation on this topic continued and the following article further more proves that children of divorce are indeed affected in some way or another. Yet, it was interesting to find out that boys have it more difficult than girls when it comes to dealing with family separation.

Kay Hyatt wrote an article for The Journal of Marriage and the Family titled "Children's Adjustment to Divorce Largely in Hands of Parents, with One Exception: Dad's Departure Depresses Boys", where she asserts that divorce affects boys more than girls. She identifies that both experience behavioral and emotional problems, but according to latest findings by Iowa State's Transition Project, "divorce increases a boy's chances of becoming depressed, regardless of other mediating conditions" (Hyatt). In order words, the rate of depression in boys is a lot higher than it is in girls. This discovery is due to the lack of a father figure. Even when the father tries to remain supportive, his absence from the home plays an important part to this conclusion.

Both parents are essential to children after divorce; however, because the mother is normally the custodial parent, the burden lies on her to provide quality parenting. As per Hyatt, "quality of the custodial mother's parenting [is] the only factor ...related to both internalizing and externalizing problems of children" (Hyatt). This means that it is extremely important that mothers continue to have a strong and positive relationship with their children. Interestingly, a mother's parenting will affect children differently. In Hyatt's article, I found that a boy's externalizing problems are due to poor parenting both from mom and dad, and that a boy's chances of becoming depressed are greater before the divorce. On the other hand, results claim that there is a higher possibility for bad behavior in girls if the mother doesn't adequately parent her, and there is little evidence of social problems if the father is not completely part of her life.

As I continued the research process, I encountered with a third article that had a long list of effects on children of divorce. This piece of writing was titled "The Effects of Divorce on Children and Families", written by Dr. Todd E. Linaman for the Family Life Facts Organization. In his article, he presents many possible effects on children of divorce, some that have been already mentioned, and others that are completely new to me. For instance, one effect that Linaman mentions and that caught my attention is the following: "the single best predictor of teen suicide is parental divorce and living in a single parent household" (Linaman). This fact was taken from a report conducted in 2000 by the Heritage Foundation, and serves to identify several effects that many children in America are facing due to family separation.

Divorce can be extremely devastating to children to the point that suicide is considered. Nevertheless, other issues arise for teens whose parents divorce. According to the report published by The Heritage Foundation, teens can react to divorce in two distinct ways: "...by attempting to avoid growing up or by attempting to speed through adolescence" (Linaman). Teens' desire of not growing up can signify their fear to loneliness and to the realization that their family is no longer united. They may want to stay young because this way their parents will not abandon them. On the other hand, the rush to "grow up" can be due to need to feel loved, and the necessity to forget the difficult experience. Dr. Linaman explains that numerous teens of divorce engage with early sexual encounters and drug abuse. Yet, one can understand this behavior and conclude that their desire to rush through youth has led them to this conduct.

Through my research, I have found many possible effects on children of divorce. However, David Weinstock and Beth Keen, writers for Not My Kid web site, present an article titled "Children and Divorce" where they assert that children of divorce could indeed experience negative effects, but that they are also able to continue a healthy and normal development in a single parent household. They stand to believe that, in many cases, "...negative effects of divorce [can be] the conflict in the home that leads to a divorce [and not the divorce itself]" (Weinstock). This belief makes a lot of sense. Because many parents are too busy fighting they forget that their children are in the middle of their conflict, absorbing all the negativity, and therefore, making of their childhood a horrible one.

"Children and Divorce" is an article that outlines possible effects on children of divorce at distinct age levels. It begins by revealing effects that infants and toddlers can experience when their parents separate. Some finding for this age group were: delay in toilet training; attaching to parents or adults more. Children may become moody or afraid, and come across with eating and sleeping problems. Weinstock and Keen clarify that researchers suggest this regressed behavior, but that there is not enough evidence that infants and toddlers are enormously effected by divorce. Another age group that is mentioned in this piece of writing is children between 3 and 9. This particular age group is a little more complicated because many of them blame themselves for their parent's separation. They tend to believe that they are the "bad ones" and that if they do good, then mommy and daddy will unite again. Also, at this age, children understand divorce more than the young ones, and because of this, depression is more common amongst them.

For the age group 9 and up, Weinstock and Keen state that these children are better able to perceive an unhappy family and feel sad and miserable most of the time; however, they are capable of taking advantage of the support organizations, provided in order for them to deal with their sentiments. Weinstock and Keen identifies possible effects on children of divorce. Some can be long term while others can last a short period of time. Regardless of the time, children need quality parenting and if possible, professional help in order to ease their pain.

The last article that I will be focusing on comes from the divorcesource.com website. This website is extremely useful in that it provides numerous articles that deal with many issues of divorce. Not only does it mention effects on children, but it also gives details on the effects divorce has on parents and other family members. The articles found in this website are written by Professional Directory Members such as: divorce lawyers, divorce mediators and divorce counselors. One article that I found interesting was "Children & Divorce: The Effects of Divorce On Children" because I discovered that many children worry about their birthdays and holidays once their parents separate. This article mentions that, " for many parents and children, holidays and birthdays after divorce can be one of the most difficult things with which to deal" (divorcesource.com). It can be very traumatic for a child to have to spend his/her birthday or any other celebration, away from a parent. Many children don't understand why both parents cannot be present at their celebrations just like they once were. For this reason, it is the parent's responsibility to equally be involved and make the effort to celebrate the child's birthday and holidays so as to make their child happy.

The research conducted on the topic of the effects of divorce on children was interesting and informative. At the beginning of this project, I had some knowledge of the kinds of effects that many children can experience when their parents decide to live their lives separately. I knew that divorce caused many distinct problems for children. For example I imagined that they became physically, emotionally, and psychologically disturbed, but it was until I researched the Internet that I was able to confirm my beliefs and understandings. Not only was I able to find my own thoughts and opinions, but I also came across with new knowledge. For example, I knew that many children suffered from depression after a divorce, yet I ignored that depression is more common in boys than it is in girls.

Another interesting finding was that divorce is very traumatic for children and parents when it comes to deal with how they will spend birthdays and holidays. In fact, I would have never thought that this could be a possible problem for those that experience divorce. I guess that I was focusing more on obvious effects, and I was not taking into consideration all possible traumas. In addition, I was surprised to learn that there is a slight chance that children who experience divorce may also become divorce themselves when they marry, specially if they marry someone that comes from a divorced family.

At first, this finding did not mean much to me. However, when I related it back to what my nephew told me one day I had not doubt that it could be a possibility. My nephew is going through a tough experience right now. He is only ten and his parents are divorcing. One day, he told me that he was never going to get married. At that time, I did not understand why he was telling me that. Now, I believe that his parent's situation has affected him so much that he is probably afraid to think that one day he could be facing a divorce himself.

One thing I must say is that the research on this topic has given me so much knowledge and understanding. Initially, I thought that divorce caused only bad effects on children. Yet, I discovered that many children could continue to live a healthy life, even if they live in a one-parent household. The most important thing is for parents to have a positive and rich relationship with their children, and if this is accomplished, then children can continue to have a normal and healthy childhood.

Hyatt, Kay. “Children’s Adjustment to Divorce Largely in Hands of Parents, with one Exception: Dad’s Departure Depresses Boys.” Marriage and the Family. http://outreach.missouri.edu/cooper/fok/children’s_adjustment.htm (10 Apr. 2006).

Linaman, Dr. Todd E. “The Effects of Divorce on Children and Families.” Family Life Facts. http://www.flc.org/hfl/marriage/mar-flf03.htm (3 Apr. 2006).

Weinstock, David J.D., M.A., Beth Keen, Ph.D. “Children and Divorce.” http://www.notmykid.org/parentArticles/Divorce/default.asp (10 Apr. 2006).

Whitehead, Barbara Dafoe. “The Making of a Divorce Culture.” The Presence of Others. Ed. Lunsford, Andrea A., and John J. Ruskiewicz. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin, 2004. 673.

Wood, Jeff. “The Effects of Divorce on Children.” http://jeffwood.bol.ucla.edu/res.html (3 Apr. 2006).