Oxymorons

Act naturally
Don't we all?

Found missing
Can you milk this one?

Resident alien
Perhaps we abducted them?

Advanced BASIC
Some of my best applications are written that way!

Genuine imitation
Unreal! Can you wear it out?

Safe sex
You can't even bank on that!

Airline food
Used as a floatation device!!

Good grief
Why is everybody always pickin' on me?

Same difference
Just different similarities

Almost exactly
Is that like "Fairly Certain?"

Government organization
An organized mess?

Sanitary landfill
Cleanest dirt you will ever see!

Alone together
Big brother is sleeping, I think...

Legally drunk
Gee, I could have had a V-8!!

Silent scream
The signs at the tip of your fingers.

British fashion
Just make sure you wear your brown belt with your brown shoes.

Living dead
Just like the people I work with!

Small crowd
The number of people on my Christmas Card List

Business ethics
Nothing personal, it's just business...

Soft rock
At least the words are intelligible.

Butt head
Must be a contortionist.

Military intelligence
Be all that you can be!

Software documentation
Used by Military Intelligence operatives to send secret messages to each other

California culture
Hey now! I resemble that remark!!

New classic
They don't make antiques like they used to!

Sweet sorrow
A rose by any other name would not be called a rose!

Childproof
The best way to keep adults out!

"Now, then ..."
If I told you once, I told you a million times, don't exaggerate!

Synthetic natural gas
If it is not in the yellow pages, it probably doesn't exist.

Christian Scientists
I'm not touching this one!

Passive aggression
What the 98 lb weakling says he will do the next time the bully kicks sand in his face.

Taped live
You had to be there, actually you were, we just edited you out.

Clearly misunderstood
What part of antidisestablishmentarianism did you not understand?

Peace force
You will get along, even if it kills you!

Temporary tax increase
It will only last till the next one.

Computer jock
Competitions include the 1 GB defractathlon; Compile, Link and Run; and the 80x86 hurdles.

Plastic glasses
Genuine imitation of a natural synthetic vessel

Terribly pleased
I laughed so hard, I cried.

Computer security
Just read your software documentation.

Political science
Six drops of essence of terror, five drops of sinister sauce...

Tight slacks
That is yesterdays British fashion, now it's "Loose Fitting!"

Definite maybe
You say "Yes", but your eyes say "No", and you are absolutely positively unsure?

Pretty ugly
Kind of pretty, Kind of Ugly

Twelve-ounce pound cake
The dramatic effects of inflation, I think.

Diet ice cream
It gets thinner as you eat it!

Working vacation
Invented by Military Intellegince because when you get back to work, you need a vacation!

Exact estimate
Just like horseshoes and hand grenades!

Religious tolerance
It takes a leap of faith

Microsoft Works
Now, that's news to me!