English as a Stupid Language There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger.

There is no apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

French fries in weren't invented in France

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand is slow.

Boxing rings are square.

A Guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

Writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

You can make amends but not one amend.

You comb through annals of history but not a SINGLE annal.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

Teachers taught, preachers don't praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If you wrote a letter, could you have you bote your tongue?

People recite at a play and play at a recital.

Ship by truck and send cargo or a truck by ship.

Noses run and feet smell.

Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

Lift a thumb to thumb a lift.

Table a plan in order to plan a table.

A slim chance and a fat chance are the same, but a wise man and wise guy are opposites..

Overlook and oversee are opposites, but quite a lot and quite a few are the same.

How can a person be "pretty ugly?".

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?

Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?

Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?

Where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

A house can burn up as it burns down.

Fill in a form by filling it out.

An alarm clock goes off by going on.

Why is "crazy man" an insult, while to insert a comma and say "crazy, man!" is a compliment.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

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