Signs That You Are Too Drunk --You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

--You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

--Job interferring with your drinking.

--Your docter finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

--Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusettes.

--The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

--Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

--24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!

--Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

--You can focus better with one eye closed.

--The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

--You fall off the floor...

--Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

--Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

--Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you

--At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."

--Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

--You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.

--The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

--Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.

--Roseanne looks good.

--Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

--Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.

--I'm as jober as a sudge.

--You wake up in Korea in August and the last thing you remember is the Fourth of July party at the Halekulani in Waikiki.

--The shrubbery's drunk too from frequent watering.

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