Settings:
Hospital
Graveyard
House (w/ pool area)
Characters:
Dr. Beau-Nick
Bo (the pool guy)-Nilesh
Belle (the good twin)/Bianca (the evil twin)-Kate
Natasha (the slut)-Mayrra
Elizabeth/Betty (the nurse)-Veronica
Narrator/Pastor-Kelly
Introduction:
Kelly: this week on Amore Valley, starring…Dr Beau (Nick walk past with sign), the other Bo (Nilesh walk past with sign), the twins Belle and Bianca (Kate walk past with sign), Natasha (Mayra walk past with sign) and Elizabeth (Veronica walk past with sign)
Kelly: will Dr. Beau be able to save his dear sister Belle’s life while a cancer eats away at her brain? Will the good doctor learn his wife Natasha’s dirty little secret? Will anyone discover Nurse Betty’s plot to kill her lover, Dr Beau? What will happen when evil Bianca returns to Amore Valley? Will Bo the pool guy ever get laid? All today on...
AMORE VALLEY! Stay tuned…
Scene 1 (hospital)
Kate: (lying on table) It’s so cold…
Nick: (crying) I’m sorry sis, we don’t have the medical technology available yet to save you. The cancer has all ready spread through your body.
Veronica: (enters and “pets” the doctors arm) How is our patient today doctor?
Nick: (still crying) I just can’t save her….I tried everything!!
Kate: (gasping for air) It’s getting so dark, but I think I can see our dead mother (reaches out)
Nick: (yells out) NO Belle, NO don’t go!!!
Kelly: (makes flat line noise)
Kate: (big dramatic final death)
Nick: (leans over Kate and continues crying)
Commercial 1
Nilesh: (Viagra commercial)
Everyone else: get ready for graveyard scene
Scene 2 (graveyard)
Kate: (lying on table underneath sheet)
Nick: (crying) Why? Why God why???
Mayra: (pretending to cry) I loved her like a sister…
Kelly: (under breath) Bull shit! (steps in as pastor)
Kelly: Does anyone have anything to say about our dear departed Belle?
Nilesh: Dude…certain parts (look down) are going to miss her a lot…(look sleazy) so like this one time we were driving to Las Vegas you know and like she totally got freaky and grabbed my….
Mayra: (loudly) What?!?!?!
Nilesh: (looking away and smiling) Oh, dude….my bad!!
Veronica: (throws a rose on Kate’s body)
Commercial 2
Mayra: (? commercial)
Everyone else: get ready for house/pool scene
Scene 3
Nilesh: (cleaning pool, singing funky music)
Mayra: (angry as all hell) Is there something I should know???
Nilesh: (looking confused) Wha??
Mayra: (even angrier) Don’t play dumb with me, I thought you really cared!”
Nilesh: (finally understanding) Ooooooh. Don’t trip babe, I was just bonin’ her…you know what I’m sayin’, but you’re the girl for me. Anyways…(getting slightly angry) you’re the one that’s bonin’ doctor dumbass!
Mayra: (slaps him)
Kelly: (makes slap noise)
Mayra: You know I only married that ass for the money!
Nilesh: (rubs his cheek) That kind of hurt (puts hand up like he’s going to hit back)
Mayra: I’m sorry…let’s go to the pool house to work off this energy.
Nilesh: Dude…score.
(both walk off)
Nick: (walking in) My wife Natasha won’t be home for an hour. She’s doing her aerobics…let me go get us some champagne (walks away)
Veronica: (walking behind Nick and when he walks away, talks to herself) I love him so much…if only I could have him all to myself. (Like she’s hearing voices) I told you to shhhhh, I don’t want to have to kill him. No no no, I know the pool guy is my best friend and he offered to help me do it but it just isn’t right. (talking to herself again) If only he wasn’t married to that skanky ho…he could be all mine (talking to the voices again) I know…if I can’t have him, then no one can!
Nick: (walking back over) Did you say something love muffin?
Veronica: (looking at him in shock) Wha?? Oh no sugar butt, just singing
Nick: (putting his arm around her) So I was thinkin’….maybe we could head outside and take a dip in the Jacuzzi and see what heats up…(winks at her sleazy)
Veronica: That sounds fabulous…but oops, I didn’t bring my swimsuit…
Nick: (sleazy smile at the audience, then looks back at her) That’s all right, I did too…
Veronica: (looking confused) But isn’t this your house…?
Nick: (distracting her) Never mind all that, come on let’s go
(both walk outside)
(Nilesh and Mayra are making out---faking!!)
Nick: (shocked) Natasha?
Mayra: (even more shocked) Beau?
Veronica: (totally and completely shocked) Other Bo?
Nilesh: (not shocked at all, just pissed) Dude…this is lame…(looking at Nick) Why you trying to be a blocker?? Man I should beat your ass for this…
Nick: Man, I know karate…look out…(does lame karate move)
Kelly: (makes doorbell noise)
Veronica: Ummmm, I’ll get it…
(runs to side and pretends to open door)
Kate: (walks in) Hello there…(looks snottily at Veronica)…ahh yes, the maid, my belongings are outside, run and get them would you? (walks toward others)
Veronica: (pissed off…says quietly as Kate walks away) Maid my ass, I should kick your…
Nick: (looking surprised) Belle, is that you???
Kate: Of course it isn’t you idiot, it’s Bianca, your other sister…I’m back from holiday in the South of France
Nick: But you’ve been gone for sixteen years, I thought you were dead…?
Kate: Yes, well you know how those private jet airliners can be…I had a layover in Rome for a bit…
Nilesh: Dude…you look just like Belle…do you want to like, bone or something??
Mayra: (hitting him) Helloooooo?
Kate: Actually (looking him over)…I’ll think about it…I’m actually here for the money…Belle’s dead and I want my share.
Nick: Over my dead body!!!
Kate: That can be arranged…
Kelly: What will happen next? Will Bianca murder her brother? Will Elizabeth kill her lover? Will Bo ever get laid…??? It’s time for you to decide…..(explain the rest of the project)
THE END (DUDE)
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