Cal State Northridge officials have some tips on making that transition a little easier for mom and dad, and their children.

"Transitions are always stressful and can be difficult, but times of transition can be exciting as well," said Robert Kemmerling, director of the university's counseling, testing and employee assistance program. "The transition from high school to college provides that exciting opportunity for every student and parent. Students can leave behind their past and create a new future. Parents have the chance to develop a new kind of adult relationship with their son or daughter."

University counselors Marshall Bloom and Ellen Mayer are putting together a guide for first-time Northridge freshmen and their parents with tips on making the transition to college life a little easier.

One of the most important things, they said, is to remember that life in college will be different than it was in high school.

The competition for grades will be stronger, they said. Students will have to rely on themselves, rather than their parents, for making decisions. While in high school, the students often had their parents or teachers urging them on to succeed or to do something. In college, they will have to apply their own motivation to their work or other activities.

In college, the students will have much more freedom to do what they want, but with that comes "accepting responsibility for their own actions," Bloom and Mayer said.

And in college, they added, "the opportunity for more distractions exist. Time management will become more important to students."

Value judgements may also change. While in high school, students often made value judgements based on their parents' values. In college, Bloom and Mayer said, "students have the opportunity to see the world through their own eyes and develop their own opinions and values."

Bloom and Mayer said adjusting to college life is exciting, stimulating and challenging all at the same time.

"Students will have the opportunity to participate in a unique campus environment, which includes the academic challenges, personal growth and independent decision making that will allow them to grow into mature, self-reliant adults," Bloom and Mayer said.

To help parents and their children through the first year of college, Bloom and Mayer offer parents some advice:

• Remember to be loving, caring and supportive.
• Be confident in your child's potential.
• Listen! Listen! Listen!
• Maintain a sense of humor.
• Praise accomplishments often.
• Carefully select reminders of "what to do."
• Communicate with your child consistently.
• Remember HOW--Honestly, Open-mindedness, Willingness--when you talk to your child.
• Respect your child's privacy, including forwarding unopened mail.
• Respect your child's choice of major, which may change.
• Be understanding of the time demands placed on your child.
• Know that the formation of identity, independence and friendships are an integral part of the college experience.

Although parents may find the adjustment difficult, Bloom and Mayer said, their moral support and active listening are essential to their child's successful college career.