The Paramedic Revision Method
Adapted from: Lanham, Richard. REVISING PROSE. NY:
MacMillan,
1992.
THE MODERN OFFICIAL STYLE CHARACTERISTICS
- conceptual ( passive voice and noun style)
-
redundant
-
impersonal
-
euphemism and jargon
-
factual
-
tedious (takes a long time to get moving)
THE PARAMEDIC METHOD INSTRUCTIONS*
- Circle prepositions
-
Circle "to be" verbs (is, am, are, was, were)
-
Put the action in a simple active verb
-
Get the sentence going fast
-
Read the prose aloud
*Notes:
-
you don't have to eliminate all prepositional phrases, but
eliminate
those that clutter.
-
the passive
voice is okay if your emphasis is on the object.
-
short
sentences are most often used for emphasis and/or transitions.
-
Long
sentences usually contain more complex thoughts.
-
eliminate vague
modifiers; make up for deletions with concrete words/specific
details
Practice Exercise:
an example of bureaucratic gobbleydegook. Can you unclutter
the law?
Review Strunk's Elements of
Style