Shelly Metten With Her Foot in Her Mouth



The following is what I believe to be tangible proof of how leaders in the church can be overly careless and end up defaming individuals and otherwise hurting them. What follows is a series of five email messages; two are from Shelly Metten, one is from Rachel Hernandez, one is from Greg Palatto, and one is from me. I wrote a letter and sent it to an ICC member mailing list. In it I mentioned the character assasination of a very close friend of mine by certain leaders, most notably Shelly Metten, a long-time member, elder's wife, and women's ministry leader. Shelly responded, and then two other people that have known this person longer than I have responded. I sent Shelly a letter, and then she sent me the final one.

Just in case there is any confusion about what an "elder's wife" is, allow me to explain. In this cult a woman is not allowed to have a position of authority over a man. Thus, women that are married to men in positions of authority are given different titles when she and her hudsband become leaders. Those who every one calls "preachers" have the title of "evangelist," but their wives are called "women's ministry leaders." Elders have an even more prestigious position because all of their children are members, and they serve to advise evangelists and to keep the flock in order. Shelly Metten is married to a an elder, thus she has a lot of influence and control in the International Churches of Christ. Her title of "elder's wife" isn't just like saying "oh, that woman is a policeman's wife," instead it is an indication of status and influence within this closed society.
Shelly Metten


Dear Daniel,

I recently read an e-mail in which you referred to me and I don't even know you but would love to respond.

I understand from the tone of your letter that you are very hurt and upset about many things and for that I am sorry.

I can help with your understanding of the situation involving "Mary" at UCLA. I have not seen or talked to Mary in several months. When she left our church we had no way of contacting her but I had spent a lot of time before then with her trying to help her with her academic plans and financial difficulties. I share your concern that studens do their best and so I try to help as many as possible. At the time that I was involved, Mary had been living rent free with other women from church and they were struggling financially as a result. They had been serving her that way for some time. It would not be appropriate for me to share all the details of Mary's situation with you and it seems your information is not accurate but please be assured that Mary was never marked. This is a very serious thing when this happens in someone's life.

Her desire to come to Women's Day is very good but in the process of the decisions that she has made, like yourself, many people have been hurt. It would be the right thing for Mary to take responsibility for those hurts she has created. She was very loved here and I believe Mary realizes that.

Women's Day is a special day set apart for Christian women to glorify God with their lives. It would be wonderful if Mary would choose to do that.

Please encourage her to contact me.

In Christ,

Shelley Metten

Rachel's Response


Dear Daniel,

I recently read an e-mail in which you referred to me and I don't even know you but would love to respond.

I understand from the tone of your letter that you are very hurt and upset about many things and for that I am sorry.

I can help with your understanding of the situation involving "Mary" at UCLA. I have not seen or talked to Mary in several months. When she left our


Lie # 1 they had the number to her house in Ontario

church we had no way of contacting her but I had spent a lot of time before then with her trying to help her with her academic plans and financial difficulties. I share your concern that studens do their best and so I try to help as many as possible. At the time that I was involved, Mary had been

Lie # 2 I know that one of the reasons that she left was because no one was willing or able to help her with her financial situation after her father disowned her

living rent free with other women from church and they were struggling financially as a result. They had been serving her that way for some time. It would not be appropriate for me to share all the details of Mary's situation with you and it seems your information is not accurate but please

Lie #3 Yeah right she was never marked

be assured that Mary was never marked. This is a very serious thing when this happens in someone's life.

Her desire to come to Women's Day is very good but in the process of the decisions that she has made, like yourself, many people have been hurt. It would be the right thing for Mary to take responsibility for those hurts she


What like she's faking her interest for God and Women's Day just so she can go in and destroy people's lives

has created. She was very loved here and I believe Mary realizes that.

Actually no, she feels like she has been austrisized(sp)and that her best friend has just been taken away Women's Day is a special day set apart for Christian women to glorify God with their lives. It would be wonderful if Mary would choose to do that.

So what until she decides to come back for sure, like without any questions or the chance to research the church before hand like non-disciples, she isn't even allowed to associate with any of them.

Greg Palatto


Danny, What's up, HAven't seen ya in a while. Can ya post this for me? This is Greg (A.K.A. George from the fateful story), I don't really need to be hidden. I just read over Shelly's piece and Pat's piece of trash and wanted to add a few things. They can reply to me if they want at palatto@ucla.edu . Thanks!

Questions and comments of Shelly's letter

-OK then Shelly, how come you helped out other disciples yourself by putting them up for free in your own place for months and never her???

-I know ""MAry" probably better than any of you, and I know she never once lived in a place for free. There were always checks for rent, gas, phone, etc, I even lent her money for some of these.

-Can't get hold of her???? She had many friends in the church with her pager #, her home phone, everyone had my number and could of asked me.

-Mary was marked like Satan himself/herself. I was repeatedly told to stay away from her, (by many people including your husband) not even talk to her, and I wasn't doing anything serious bad. I guess you call going out to get a cookie at Diddy Riese at 10:00 p.m. setting up for serious tradegy, but I really don't. (Seems to me that the only way a young Christian who isn't a leader or best friends with one can talk to an elder is if something is wrong).

-OK Shell, ""MARY"" didn't hurt me, I know you want her to apoligize to you because you think she made me fall away. Thing is though, she didn't. I was thinking about falling away for a while before that, as some other brothers know, and actually it was more or less coincidence. People told me that the "Kingdom" isn't the place for me. And I have been taken advantage of too much when I became a disciple. Don't flatter Mary like that.

-"Mary" has been telling me about going back for a while a couple of months ago. She talked to her friend in the church about it, and as we all know now, was denied the opportunity. If she was going to go to church and your Woman's day and all, I think she would develop the "good heart" you want her to have.

-This is to Pat Lin. OK Pat, I read your letter. Your sound like one of those people who suck up to leaders to make yourself seem spiritual. Your say all of us are equal, yet you totally belittle "Mary" as an incompetant 19 year old and exalt Shelly as an experienced woman. If you knew half of the stuff Mary has gone through, you might see otherwise. Just because someone has gone to a few countries and stand next to her man and is old doesn't make her anything better than the next. If so, where do you stand?

-This is just to display myths now about me & MARY. She didn't make me fall away. We have been best friends in the church (1 of the 4 unsuperficial's that I had amongst the 100) and still are. We are not dating, have never dated, and most likely won't in the future. We hang out alot and cause of that I have been hearing rumors left and right about us, but all are untrue. If any questions, email me. (Who are the ones that are supposed to go for the truth and not interpret things the way they aren't???)

-Thats all I can say for now, I got class. Hey by the wat. I got to UCLA. As a disciple I had never got even a 3.0, and hopes of leaving UCLA in 4? Sure. Actually now, my last quarter was my highest ever, and I am getting out in exactly 4 with a double major. And now all the friends I got aren't superficial.
Another Letter I wrote to Shelly
Shelly,

Are you still willing to stand by everything that you said in that letter that you sent to me? If you're not, I am in the process of making a webpage entitled, "Irrefutable Written Proof That Shelly Metten, Elders Wife and Women's Leader Lies". It's up to you, you see I have received three other emails from people that say the exact opposite of what you did. I will not make this page if you send me something that says something like "I was not aware of all of the circumstances of Mary's situation...". Something like that, I will stilll publish it, but it would show your humility, and how you handle being wrong.

On a side note:

Pat Lin told Mary that she couldn't come back unless she apologized to you for making Greg fall away. She did not make him fall away. If you call her prideful for not apologizing for and refusing to lie, you have caught her in a paradox. Pridefulness is a sin, and so is lying. You really should talk to Greg's old discipler, or the people in his bible talk. She did not make him fall away. I'm going to repeat this 20 times, so that I can be sure that you hear it:

Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay Mary did not make Greg fall away and in fact tried to convince him to stay
Shelly Metten's Final Response
Dear Daniel,

I received your e-mail today and once again feel very badly that there are more problems. Your e-mails are helping me to see that I am not aware of all of "Mary's" situation. For that, I am very sorry. If "Mary" says she did not make Greg fall away and tried to convince him to stay, I believe that. I apologize for any hurt "Mary" feels because of all this.

Please convey my apology to Mary for any misunderstandings and encourage her to contact me.

Thank you for taking tthe gtime to help us work through these very sensitive issues. Let me know what else I can do.

Sincerely,

Shelley

Contact: Daniel de Sailles
Email: hbeng151@csun.edu
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