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I'm still a member of the LA Church of Christ though I'm not a spiritual giant. Never have been and probably never will be, but I do have a few convictions. I also feel sorry for you that you never had the kind of friendships in the Church that I enjoy. I talk to "the other side" everyday. I go skiing with my old roommate Trisha who fell away over a year ago. I have lunch, go to the movies, and talk on the phone with my other buddy Chrystal who fell away a few months ago. My discipler's discipler fell away last week and we continue to e:mail each other every day and we don't talk about anyone going to hell or the differences in our lives all the time. I talk to her like any other friend. Last night my room mate Celeste and I talked to another sister who fell away a couple of months ago, on the phone. We laughed, and yelled and had fun like we always did. I love Gabby and I always will. Gabby, Trisha, and Sondra can count on me for help of any kind. It's hard to here about them sleeping with ex-boyfriends and guys they hardly know. That's not good for me spiritually so we try to stay off those subjects, though as women, we always talk to other women about the men in our lives. They respect my decision to remain with the International Church of Christ and try not to curse when we talk though they've picked up that habit again and don't even realize the words come out of their mouths. What kind of friendships did you have? In retrospect, were they superficial or are you over looking the fact that the disciples you once counted as friends, find it hard to remain focused on God when you talk to them. Maybe some of them know they are weak spiritually and really can't handle your change of heart and mind. Is it wrong for them to put God first, above you? Can they do everything in their power to remain faithful if it means reducing the amount of contact they have with someone that doesn't share their beliefs? But in response to your e:mail essay on the injustices enforced on members I must disagree. I was baptized in the campus ministry at UCLA. I worked over 30 hours a week (job off campus in commission sales so I made a lot more money than the average college student) in addition to receiving financial aid (all loans). Even though I made more money than most college students, I wasted so much that I wish I could go back and do that part of college all over again! I think it's sad that you were asked to give a minimum that placed a burden on your shoulders almost too heavy to bear. Did you not have a campus leader that could look at your individual situation and validate that this $10 was too much for your financial situation? Or are you referring to treatment received by other disciples? What was your situation? As far as disciples not graduating in four years. I don't know ANY students at UCLA (disciple or not) that have graduated in four years. Actually, I did know one girl. But my brother who graduated in the early 80's took five years. I took five years (although I transferred from Cal State San Bernardino as a junior and had to take an additional year of UC g.e.'s and took off three quarters at various times totalling one year). The concept of graduating from college in four years is considered a pipe dream at UCLA. Your smokin' dope if you EXPECT it to happen. For some really lucky people it does but that's not even an issue of contention. Certainly not a situation someone can attribute to the time they spend at church. As far as the doctrine. Are you conveniently forgetting what the BIBLE says about tithes? How many times does God say he wants our first fruits? Look that up and maybe you'll change your mind about that point. He doesn't make a distinction between college students and other people that wish to follow him. If the church made up the rule that said college students have to tithe it would be a man made rule that has no biblical basis. Why don't you ask God (i.e. the Bible) what he thinks about tithes. Look up the scriptures that say, "Have nothing to do with someone who does..." and those that say, "Do not yoke yourself with unbelievers..." if you want to talk about "excommunication" or "marking." I do agree that what happened to "Mary" was wrong. Do you have all the facts on that? There must be some extenuating circumstances because Shelley Metten is one of the most impressive women I've met in or out of the International Churches of Christ and she doesn't have a vindictive or cruel bone in her body. Finally, try not to be so prejudiced when you write an article. (I'm a writer by the way) You constantly say "you" this and "you" that. "You must change, you are destroying too many people." The part about treating pagans with love and services was great, though. How do you know that the people that use drugs, get pregnant, etc. are in the minority? I know too many women and men that've gotten pregnant, impregnated someone or went back to the drugs they were doing before to believe that's true. I really have to go back to work but look forward to hearing from you. You can email Tammy and tell her what you think. Contact: Daniel de Sailles
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