Deborah van Alphen
Electrical and Computer Engineering Department
California State University, Northridge

Quotes

"Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion - you must first set yourself on fire."

             - Fred Shero

"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."

             - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name."

             - Unknown

"I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need."

             - Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he  managed to make his  remarkable statues

"When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail."

             - Abraham Maslow (1908-1970)

"If everything is under control, you are going too slow."
             - Mario Andretti (1940-)

"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the hell out of the pig."

             - Unknown

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

             - Unknown

"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."

             -  Richard Harkness

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe. "

             - Abraham Lincoln

"By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. "

             - Benjamin Franklin
 

"The surest way to make an enemy is to do someone a favor." 

                          - Murphy (?)

"Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero."

              - Eric Hoffer, Reflections On The Human Condition

"In the binary system we count on our fists instead of on our fingers." 

               - Author Unknown

"For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed."

               - Clifton Fadiman

"A camel is a horse designed by committee. "

                   - Albert Einstein

"The difference between an introvert and extrovert mathematicians is: An introvert mathematician looks at his shoes while talking to you. An extrovert mathematician looks at your shoes."

              - Anonymous 
 

Proverbs/Sayings

"Better to light a candle than curse the darkness."

              - Chinese Proverb

 "If there is no wind, row."

              - Latin Proverb

Signs

"Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."

"Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes."
 

Poems 

There was a young man from Trinity,
Who solved the square root of infinity.
While counting the digits,
He was seized by the fidgets,
Dropped science, and took up divinity.

            - Author Unknown

There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

            - Author Unknown