Assistant Professor: Someone so happy not to be on the job market anymore that he/she will assist anyone with anything whatsoever. See catamite.
Catamite: In Plato's Gorgias, Socrates and Callicles have at it with respect to what the best life actually is. Callicles insists that it's the life of pleasure: get as much as you possibly can. So the more pleasure, the better the life. Socrates then proceeds to demolish Callicles' claim with two reductios, one rather innocent and foolish, the other more sinister and at which Socrates only hints:
| Socrates: | Tell me now first whether a man who has an itch and scratches it and can scratch to his heart's content, scratching his whole life long, can also live happily. | ||
| Callicles: | What nonsense, Socrates. You're a regular crowd pleaser. | ||
| Socrates: | That's just how I shocked Polus and Gorgias and made them be ashamed. You certainly won't be shocked, however, or be ashamed, for you're a brave man. Just answer me, please. | ||
| Callicles: | I say that even the man who scratches would have a pleasant life. | ||
| Socrates: | And if a pleasant one, a happy one, too? | ||
| Callicles: | Yes indeed. | ||
| Socrates: | What if he scratches only his head -- or what am I to ask you further? See what you'll answer if somebody asked you one after the other every question that comes next. And isn't the climax of this sort of thing, the life of catamites, a frightfully shameful and miserable one? Or will you have the nerve to say that they are happy as long as they have what they need to their hearts' content? | ||
| Callicles: | Aren't you ashamed, Socrates, to bring our discussion to such matters? (Gorgias, 494c-e) |
So what's so shameful about this mention of the Catamites? What the hell is a catamite, anyway? It is a sexual pervert, but of a very distinct kind. In ancient Greek society, sexual relations between boys and men was acceptable, to a very limited and peculiar extent. It was supposed to be a mentoring relationship, wherein the older man would pick a beautiful teenage boy to teach about the ways of the world. Part of the relationship was sexual, but it was not what folks today would term a straightforwardly homosexual relationship. Rather, the two engaged in what is known as intercrural intercourse, a very ritualized act in which the older man would feign penetration of the teenage boy, but would actually not penetrate him at all. Instead, he would rub his "manly bits" on the thighs of the boy until the older man climaxed. Of course, actual penetration did occasionally (perhaps even often) occur, but it was quite frowned upon by the public at large. And the boy in such instances was not supposed to be physically aroused by all of these goings-on. But there was one absolute no-no: the roles were never to be reversed, with the boy in the role of "penetrator" and the older man in the role of the "penetratee." There were, however, some older men who engaged in this "perverse" activity, and they were -- you guessed it -- the dreaded catamites.
So what is Socrates' point? If the life of pleasure constitutes the best life, then wouldn't the most active catamites -- who, it must be admitted, certainly got great amounts of pleasure from their deeds -- be the happiest of all, living the best possible lives? Even Callicles must agree at this point that something has gone wrong in his argument if this is a possible implication. Well, he doesn't at first, but he eventually comes to agree with Socrates that there are actually good pleasures and bad pleasures, which means that pleasure cannot be equivalent to what's good, which ultimately means that the pleasure-filled life is not necessarily equivalent to the good life.
Philosopher: See intercrural intercourse. Substitute "attempt" for "feign", "modus ponens" for "manly bits," and "brains" for "thighs."
Raconteur: What are you, lazy? Look it up! Jeez, I could sure tell some stories about people like you!
Shoemaker: Maker of shoes. Also, an obscure colloquialism meaning "dipwad."