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I want to think out loud here for a little bit and expound on some revelations I had during Spring break. First and foremost I was out of school for an entire week and although I continued to work at ASC I was only there for half of the day. This led to an exceptional amount of- uh, I had some extra time on my hands. Without the burden of school work and classes I was free to do what I wanted with the time.
Let me tell you I was completely flabbergasted. I was in shock for most of the week. I kept repeating to myself, "I have all this time. I have all this time" I would finally be able to finish up the forty-three odd jobs that I had started two years ago. Did I?
I did not. I panicked and my mind blanked out and I couldn't get anything done. I mean there were things I managed to finish but they weren't what I wanted to get done. In any case I sat there all day pondering the possibilities, trying to decide what to do first and I couldn't make that decision. I couldn't just do nothing because this extra time was a commodity and to waste it like that was almost unethical. Did I do nothing?
Yes I did. Or I did not do a thing and I am getting to the crux of this piece. I would be exhausted from the work, you know, completely worn out from twenty-two years of non stop manual labor that I would lie down to rest for a bit and I would fall asleep instantly. I mean I would be out from three O'clock in the afternoon until four in the morning. These were not cat-naps I took but full-fledged comas. But I was tired so I slept. And when I awoke I looked upon the sleep and saw that it was good. Yes! Sleep is good. Sleep is very good.
I never understood why I was always exhausted and had no energy all day until I took the time out of my schedule to sleep. Finally I realize that for all of these years of five hours of sleep wasn't good enough. (It was actually four hours of sleep a night but it's a half hours drive to work. You do the math.) If only I knew this earlier, in fact I feel good enough to change my ways. I'm going to bed early so that I can get all the rem action my body can handle. But it's 11:30 PM now and I won't get to bed for another hour or more so I think I'll start my ode to Rip Van Winkle tomorrow. Of course I still need to write that five page critical essay that I didn't do during Spring break and I'll have to stay up late to finish that. Oh and then I absolutely have to read up for a Mythology test. And then. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
You get the picture.
What's the deal with free time anyway? I mean, you have a schedule that you must follow throughout the day, such as getting up in the morning at a certain time and working from this to that hour. An then you usually have gaps in your schedule that some people like to call their 'free' time. I have those same gaps in my schedule myself but I don't really have 'free' time. Let me explain it to you my way.
I have my schedule that takes up a majority of the day, yea even my week. Consisting mainly of work and school. I don't consider myself unusual in the fact that there are many things I want to get done in my spare time I have jobs to finish or errands to accomplish and I can only get to them in my 'free' time. So accordingling I will use my 'free' time to try to get these done and they often include but are not limited to: Homework Laundry. Web page updating. Shopping for food or other overrated materials. Cleaning up around the apartment. Eating. Et cetera.
So when I am not working or at school I may try to get a few of these projects doneand may end up using all of my 'free' time in doing so. But the chores never really get done though, so in order to compensate what do I do? Stay up late of course. The end result of all this is that I am tired and groggy the next day, have more work to get done in less time, and I still never really got my 'free' time at all.
'Fair enough,' some might say, 'but what about the weekends?' Sure there is a lot of 'free' time on the weekend but it's all just fools gold if you ask me. First off let me assume that I am not supposed to be working on Saturday and secondly let me assume that I don't have to drive 151 miles to San Diego to work both Saturday and Sunday. This is a bonafide two day holiday with a little extra couple off seconds due to the wobble of the Earth on it's axis. There should be plenty of time to enjoy my 'free' time, right?
Maybe, maybe not. Chronologically speaking I would most likely sleep in a few extra hours to compensate for a week of staying up late and working long hours in dimly lit, poorly ventilated conditions. I stumble out of bed out of bed, shower, shave, fix breakfast, eat breakfast, and slouch back to my room and in doing so I have wasted the prime morning hours of the day. I spend the the rest of the day catching up on the errands that I couldn't get to during the week, such as groceries and what not. I agonize on whether or not to see a movie, work on the computer, or . . . . (Ok, so I never get to the third option. But I'm sure it's there.) Seeing the latest movie is a great use of the 'free' time and may just be the highlight of the week but it's not really 'free' time because you are tied up in a movie theater watching a movie for a couple of hours.
As Sunday rolls around I frantically try to complete a weeks worth of Calculus, read the required textbook chapters (Ch. 3, 4, 5, and 6), study for the test, and finish the book report. And for some reason all of this will be due the next day so I have little choice but to do it. I also have little choice but to wash my clothes on a regular basis, (No, not daily.) and I take off the rest of Sunday and head to my parent's place to get the clothes washed. (Hey you can't say no to free bleach.) I do my things and end up back in bed late in the night and get ready to do it all over again.
So just when did I really get my 'free' time? At the movies? Working on my computer? When I am cooking food? At this point I must define 'free' in order to at least validate the time I have put into writing this page. The kind of 'free' time I am referring to is the kind of free time when you don't have to do anything. The kind of time that comes after doing everything that needed to be done with time to spare. Ultimately 'free' time is the time that I could choose to do nothing if I wanted to and still have everything finished. Without the freedom of being able to do absolutely nothing then it cannot truly be 'free' time but merely 'extended' time. And without the illusion of 'free' time then even 'extended' time can seem like work.
So what's the deal with free time anyway? It's out there, it exists, but will I know it when I see it? (One reason I devote my time to nothing. To have better practice when I actually get 'free' time.) In the end I suppose that true 'free' time is just as trivial as sanity but if I couldn't complain about it then I wouldn't be happy, would I?
Then again you didn't actually expect me to write about important things, did you?
What do a big ceremony, a wedding cake, a bride, and myself have in common? Absolutely nothing, and that is just fine by me. I mean I am the kind of person who runs whimpering for the door at the mere mention of marriage. Personally I feel that I have too much irresponsibility and trouble to get into still before I can make such a permanent, stifling, life ending, cementing, commitment like marriage. (Ok, so I was joking about the whimpering and life ending parts.)
But for those of you out there who don't know it yet, my best friend has just proposed to his significant other and will be married shortly. I am shocked but I am not terribly surprised at the whole situation. Its one of those things that you know is going to going to happen but still take you by surprise when they happen, kinda like tax audits and gall stones. (Don't ask.) I have only just found out yesterday and that was quite an event in itself. Let me describe it for you.
I was getting home from work late as usual and had about two minutes to spare as I grabbed my books so I decided to check me mail. (No it didn't say, "You've got mail." Die AOL, DIE!) Lo and behold I had a single piece of mail and that one email had no title on it. I said to myself, "Ooh, spooky." Before I could open it an read the thing a chill shot down my spine, the hairs on the nape of my neck stood up and I had visions of the four horseman of the apocalypse doing the macarena. Slowly I opened the email and read it. What I was treated to was basically a five sentance essay saying something like this. "Hello, you don't know me but I am going to marry your best friend. Ta ta."
I was stunned and nearly collapsed into the chair. "Married?" I didn't get it. I kept thinking, why? Why? Why would he decide to drop everything and get married? He is working his was through college, slaving at three jobs, spending great time with his friends, I mean these are some of the greatest times in our lives and he is going to get married. Why?
There had to be some rational explanation for the whole thing. I didn't get it. I want to say that I have complete faith in my friend's judgment and I support him all the way. (Married?) But what's the deal anyway. Call me a cynic but I always see the shadowy figure lurking on the grassy know. (Even if no one ever believes me.) I am just trying to understand the why. Why do people do it?
Alright, so maybe I haven't fallen madly in love with a certain left handed woman with red hair, an unsettling smile, and Ford Explorer. I haven't stayed up all night trying to get her out of my mind. Maybe I haven't confessed my darkest, most terrible secrets to this woman or even stalked her on weekends as people in love tend to do. (I haven't, really I swear.) I can still give my opinion as someone who has absolutely no knowledge or experience in the subject. (It can't be all that hard, just look at Ronald Reagan)
"Married?" Let's ponder this for a moment. You always hear of the high school kids who get married as soon as they are eighteen, drop out of high school to get a job, have a baby, and end up getting a divorce. Why did that marriage not work? Well, for one the two of them were too stupid to survive as ignorant teenagers let alone responsible married adults. These types of marriages can almost never work in my opinion simply because the person as an individual is still growing and developing a personality, still dependent on their parents for support, and don't have the faintest idea of what real marriage is like. In a year they won't like the person they are married to because they have changed so much, won't have the money to pay for the baby food, and found out that being married is a whole lot more work than they thought.
What have we learned from this little example? Well, a person should be responsible, financially independent, mature, and have a very good understanding of the person to be married. But do these always hold to be true? Well myself for one, I will probably never be truly financially independent and I anticipate another happy eighty years of working my butt off to have enough money to pay the bills and support my expensive addictions. (I said don't ask!) Does this mean I should never get marred? Absolutely not, but this means that money isn't the key to a good marriage. (Yeah right.) Responsibility is handmates with maturity, (So I'm told.) But myself for one plan on being very immature and irresponsible for at least a great majority of the aforementioned eighty years. So I can effectively rule out those two requirements as necessary as well.
That leaves me with a profound understanding of the married-to-be. This I think can't be eliminated from the formula, it's kinda like the answer for X that makes the equation Y=mX+b equal. (heh heh, ponder on that one.) Ok so I think that I would be able to know a woman deeply and truly but does that mean that I need to -gulp- marry her? I could know my sister really well, being her brother and all, but I wouldn't want to marry her would I? (Don't even think about it.) There has to be more than that?
I know that for myself I prize my personal freedom above almost all else. I went into the military to preserve freedom and I'm going into Law Enforcement to enforce it. And some could consider marriage the end of personal freedom in it's own right, so in my opinion there has to be something completely universe-rendering in order to make marriage possible otherwise we might be seeing high divorce rates in this country and a very large percentage of spousal homicide. I don't understand the connection though.
Let me attack it from a different angle. . . . . Why?
I believe in the phenomenon of spontaneous love or the 'Love at first sight' syndrome. I also believe that I'm going to win the lottery and that there is a galactic conspiracy to have aliens colonize Earth and we are all going to be killed by bees carrying a new plague. Oh wait a sec. Scratch that last one. You get the point though. But there has to be an element to love that is not controlled by probability, or by fate, or by whatever you want to call it. It has to be an act that allows people to give up their their free individuality for a bigger whole. I just don't understand what that is.
My best friend may understand what that is or he may not. He is most definitely getting married so he has figured out a great deal more than myself. He may even understand the 'why.' (If you do and if you are reading this then maybe you can help me with another question that has been bothering me. Just how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?)
In then end I can only look in from the outside and scratch my head. I'd like to thank both my best friend and his fiancee for being such good sports and letting me write this without horrible recrimination. -Hint-Hint- I'd also like to thank all the other people who tried to help me under stand. I still don't get it though.
"Married?"
All right, it's raining out here in California. It's a bit more than the usual three-weeks-a-year-cloud-sweat that we normally get. It is an El Nino rain. -Trumpets blaring- And its not just any El Nino rain it's the biggest El Nino event since the invention of ego waffles. Tonights evening news at 10PM dedicated the first 20 minutes of the broadcast to the "El Nino Weather Phenomenon" where all the reporters reported live from "El Nino country" where they interviewed actual "El Nino survivors and veterans." about the "El Nino swath of destruction." And, oh yeah, there is some guy in the Middle East and something happened that might have averted a US war. Did we mention that we have El Nino?
These are actually grown men and women, (Some of whom are actually college educated.) who are rallying up to fight "El Nino" as only television reporters are capable of doing. "Well its been a one-two punch here in the Southland and El Nino is coming in for round two." The weather"man" was exuberant about the whole deal. I mean he was ecstatic, jumping back and forth as he reported on the "El Nino Zingers" and flashed the same moving cloud graphic at least 43 times. Give me a break here! I'd rather have the fleas of four hairy camels crawl around my face than hear about the big, bad, evil, vicious El Nino any longer! Ooohhh the humanity! I actually had some complete stranger say to me while I waited in a line, "You know, most people don't realize this, but El Nino is actually a weather system." What? No kidding? AAAARRRRGH! How can a general populace be so incredibly, well, stupid?
I don't think its real stupidity that is the case here but it sure comes close. I swear this is true, there is some shmuck that has been advertising on KFI AM640 for the last few months about his lawsuit against California and the National Weather Bureau. Get this, for propagating lies and possibly making up the "El Nino Phenomenon" He had re-cemented his driveway and fixed the gutters on his house because of the warnings from the aforementioned agencies but he "has yet to see any rain from the supposed El Nino Phenomenon" (You can't make this stuff up.) All I see are people running around yelling and screaming in such a way that only Chicken Little can truly appreciate, and I for one am just plain sick of it.
That is not to say that there is not a problem out here because there is a big one. Which brings me to the second half of my rant.
We have had almost twice the yearly average of rain in the last few days alone. There is a flash flood warning until 6:00 tomorrow morning in LA county, there are "State of Emergency" situations in 37 other counties in California with an estimated half billion dollars in damages total. And there is still more rain to go. For the most part a lot of people have been driven out of their homes, injured, or killed in the cumulative rain periods and that is a real tragedy. I honestly feel badly for a lot of the victims out there.
BUT. Why is there so much destruction, so much property damage, so many car accidents, so many floods? Well I'll tell you why.
Let me bring up the situation of an earthquake to illustrate this. Out here in Southern California we are extremely prone to being wiped off the face of the West coast at any given time. This is a fact. There are construction codes in Los Angeles that say that if LA were to be relocated to the bottom of the ocean due to a major earthquake, then your home should still be standing in one piece. (This is supposed to make us all safe.) But in '94 we all had a fair sized temblor and many of the houses and building toppled or collapsed. Oh the humanity right?
Except geologists have been telling us for decades now that this can happen and still nobody pays too much attention. That is until an earthquake hits. Never mind the fact that that there have been twenty >M2.0 earthquakes in the last week alone. You had to rattle people's attention with a "big" one but by then it was too late.
It's the same with the rain. It rains every single year and in many "normal" years it still floods in areas of Los Angeles. WHY. Southern California is just not equipped to handle the rain. (It's also not equipped to handle fires, earthquakes, common sense, and riots.) Finally I get to the heart of my ranting, to the meat and potatoes of the speech. What is to ultimately blame for all of the problems. Arrogant stupidity. People would rather build a strip malls where there should be water runoff systems and would rather pay to build a billion dollar museum on top of a tall hill could easily move away in the next earthquake, landslide, or flood.
How can intelligent, rationale people build multi-million dollar homes perched twenty feet off the edge of a cliff that overlooks the ocean and not expect it to fall into the sea? How can city engineers construct a highway that is cut into a hillside that runs along the ocean and not expect the hillside to fall on the highway or that the that the highway would fall into the sea? How can sewer systems and water runoff canals be consistently flooded year after year and still be expected to hold up against the mother of all El Nino storms? How can people be so arrogant and petty to build complex after complex in areas that sane people wouldn't even walk their dog across and expect them to survive any act of nature?
I say, 'They can't.' I say that this is nature's method to sort out the stupid and get rid of them. Build your house on the beach, it washes away, fine. You weren't smart enough to live there to begin with, I won't miss you. I have even heard someone saying that El Nino was a tool of (insert deity of choice) to punish the wickedness of Los Angeles. (Sheesh I actually think this person believed what they were saying.) Now all I have to do is find a way to get all the television reporters and news "people" into one of those amazing houses with a stunning view of the ocean and maybe El Nino can do me a little favor and . . . well, never mind.
So I guess the moral of this is that you should dress for rain if you don't want to get wet. If you don't and you get wet, you have nothing to complain about cause you were just asking for it and no aggrandizing humanisms (i.e. "The El Nino Phenomenon") can cover up your own stupidity. So there. Let it rain!